The spices of life

I bought a spice rack probably over ten years ago when I started realizing that kitchens can be used for more than boiling water and microwaving burritos. It came along with eighteen bottles of herbs and spices. Of course, I have to bear my share of the blame for buying an eighteen-slot spice rack, but at the end of the day I suspect that I am sadly provincial AND they were needlessly esoteric or perhaps taking unfair advantage of the Marjoram Glut of 1997.

Let us review these bottles. Ones in parentheses are not part of the original set, and sit in separate bottles above the rack.

Well-understood: Chopped onion, garlic salt, onion salt, oregano, parsley, sweet basil, thyme, (cinnamon), (dill weed), (nutmeg)

Opened but probably only used once for a specific long-forgotten recipe: Bay leaves, fennel seed, savory, (cayenne powder)

Never opened: Allspice, celery seed, coriander seed, dill seed, mustard seed, marjoram, peppermint, spearmint

So, in celebration of spring cleaning rituals and the simplification of life, I'm in a vague mood to start acknowledging that my spice rack is not the House of Lords and some of these hereditary peerages might need to be wiped out to make room for exciting twenty-first century e-spices. Not even the things I use a lot are immune; I can chop my own damned onions and I think that I will be replacing the garlic and onion salts with their respective powders.

Any nominees for expulsion and membership would be most welcome.

What can Brown do for you?

In lieu of having anything insightful to say about the scandal that might take down British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, I will point out that it would be a shame if this earnest anthem became history instead of current events. Granted, it isn't "Kenya" or "Mango", but I love me some Weebl songs.