Why can't we have nice things on the internet?

I know that most of you agree with me that the Internet was created to host the Terror Alert Dancing Banana, a completely useful applet that would ping the Department of Homeland Security to find the current alert level and then display the lovable Dancing Banana icon doing his thing in the appropriate color. And, if you are reading this, then you are like me in trying to continue to find purpose of life despite the obvious death of the Internet when that site when offline. Truly the largest disappointment to online life since the Really Big Button started doing something.

Well, I don't know exactly when it happened, but the third shoe has dropped. Weather Pixie would appear to be gone. Now you have to comprehend the local weather through boring one-dimensional numbers rather than glamorous online paper dolls wearing appropriate clothes for the current conditions. I'm quite afraid to see what will disappear next.