Having this happen to me twice in two days under different circumstances definitely made me decide that I was the strange one. "Strange" isn't the right word. Our patterns of conversation are often non-intuitive especially when made between people from different subcultures and you can unintentionally derail a conversation before it starts if you interpret a question through your filter instead of relying on your perception of the speaker's motivations. That's what I took away from Tannen, anyways.

I think you're right that "The crust came from YouTube and the filling is mostly from Joy, was it unusual?" would be a good way of sussing out what worked and didn't from someone who almost certainly has more experience than I do. It'd definitely be more concise.